Answering Doubt

An old man retires to a quiet place and holds conversation with a young boy that isn’t there. He is bombarded with questions in the eager small boy’s youthful enthusiasm, but alas they resonate and reverberate within the old man’s head. Clenching his hands, he bows his head and seeks clarity and wisdom to silence the young boy’s inquiry, for fear his unanswered questions are being to agitate the child.

Then there was silence. The young boy had fallen quiet and vanished. Clarity returned once more to the old man’s mind, though no answers to questions asked, for all doubts had been removed.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Q&A about Love

How do you know it’s love? Should your mind wander to exotic places, sampling gourmet dishes or finest wine, who is sharing that mind wander with you? If it is not the person of whom you’ve said has your heart, do they really have it?

What do you think about soul mates? When two lovers come together, and a bond is formed not of lust and carnal desire, but of understanding and communication. When they see the flaws created by others and accept them without wanting to fix them because the adore you in spite of them. Though they cannot erase the past, they nurture your soul in a way that makes your future much brighter.

Do you believe there is someone for everyone? A lifetime is but a spec in the true reality of time. A month, a year or even a decade we may wait until our heart’s rythmn is matched to another. We may win and lose our greatest love in our early years, or find true love towards the end of what time we have. True love comes to us all eventually, it’s keeping it fed and sustainable that will help it flourish.

Have you found any of the aforementioned? My journey through love has been eventful, albeit with few. They have been full of happy times and great memories of which I look back on with fondness. That said, I have found my happily ever after. She is all of the above and more. She has captivated my heart from the first time I saw her, and continues to enthrall and amaze me with her presence and charisma. If a man could die from love, I would have died already a million times over. She is my everything.

Thoughts of: authorchrisbrown

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Lost

Something hurts inside
When you’re lost and can’t be found
You feel so disconnected
From every sight and every sound

No place to call your home
As there’s nowhere for your heart
So you endlessly keep walking
Getting further from the start

Tears they fall around you
Like heavy rain on the blackest day
And the scars you cannot see
Will within you always stay

To this life of shattered dreams
You’ll be forever eternally bound
Because it hurts a little more
Each day you’re lost and can’t be found

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Getting back into things

I wanted to write a little piece, just to see if anything would form in this supposed creative mind of mine, see if I was still able to make words flow and ebb like calm gentle waters over the minds of those reading.

I call this ‘Drifting into Seperation’

Two ships under a crescent moon, slowly parting upon opposing tides. Communications languish, until eventually all connections are terminally disconnected. Relationship ebbing away, like water through open fingers. Tears become now your passengers, and all your smiles have abandoned ship.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Relationship Ideals

The front door opened where a tired an weary female came in from the cold outside. She was greeted with a cozy blanket that had been warming on the radiator, put there for her arrival. It was being held by the smiling face of her husband.

Wrapping it around her, he led her to the sofa where he began removing her shoes so as to rub her aching feet. The room was full of the scent of an evening meal, almost ready, cooking in the oven. A glass of wine already poured, waiting on the table and the sound of running water for the bath he’d readied for her return.

These are the things I believe a partner wants from a relationship, not coming home to x-box and the prospect of then having to choose and cook tea. I might be wrong.

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Worry

Every second of every minute, that makes up the hours of my day are spent in worry and fear for the safety and well being of my children, my family and my future wife. I worry if they’re happy, do they have enough to grow and flourish. As a son, I worry about my elders. As a parent I worry about my children and those of my partner. As a future husband I worry about whether I can offer the kind of life my sweetheart so richly deserves. And of course I’ve been blessed with being introduced to grandchildren, so it’s my duty to worry about them too.

It’s all too easy to gift the younger generations all the things you yourself missed out on growing up, toys video games and designer clothes. But one thing my parents always taught me, more valuable than any material possession, was to create memories. Toys break, video games grow old and clothes fade. Memories are the things you take to the grave.

So yes I worry. I think I earned the right to worry. So much of last year and the beginning of this have been lost, and yet I’ll always remember April 2020 as the date I found love, was welcomed into a new family and a new reason to make memories. July 2021 I become the dad of an 18 year old. Dates keep coming, and become more important and significant with each one. Not one though, makes me worry any less.

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Finding Faith

Life through my eyes 3

It wasn’t about finding some revelation
An euphoria moment that opened my eyes
I was taught the stories in school
By half hearted teachers that left me more questions than answers

Nor was it pandering to others
Changing of beliefs to seek favour in a new relationship
Afterall I was baptized as a child, and yet
Given the freedom to seek my own mind upon religion and faith

To many it seems incomprehensible
That in my days of loneliness and everything seems against me
I should have someone in which to offload
Not always in silent prayer, but in anger and frustration

There is comfort unleashing your feelings
To someone who will not judge or shout back
But will give you the benefit of a new day in which to find calm
To me, it has become more than religion but a relationship

Having faith that light will always follow darkness
That the power of song can lift and most flattened of moods
I would rather be looked at funny for finding strength
And shunned for seeking shelter in the arms of The Lord.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Progress doesn’t come easy

Conflicting emotions at the minute with respect to the direction my writing is heading.

I’m currently devoting time to various projects that seem to have differing excitment levels among those that follow my work.

▪ A collection of stories that you guys inspired with your random objects and genre.

▪ Fantasy based D&D romp that will be my longest book to date.

▪ Book Two in the Lucia series.

▪ One for those that enjoyed 31 Sleeps and tells Sam’s Story.

▪ Standalone. The book long time in the writing that is so near and yet so far from completion.

I know already those that will encourage the completion of Standalone, and I really want to bring you that story to the best of my ability.

Stick with me guys. I know there hasn’t been anything for a good while, but I am getting there. Honest!

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