I am done
Exhausted
With my last remaining strength
I’m pulling up the anchor
Drifting the endless sea
Abandoning hope
Gifting my tears to the salty abyss
Abandoning your name to the silence of night.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
I am done
Exhausted
With my last remaining strength
I’m pulling up the anchor
Drifting the endless sea
Abandoning hope
Gifting my tears to the salty abyss
Abandoning your name to the silence of night.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
What is it to live these days?
I spend most of my time locked up doing the things that pays for the box I’m locked in.
And to make box more aesthetically pleasing, costs more money, and so spend more time working to afford the things I have no time to admire.
The friends I’ve made have become nothing more than recognisable text on a screen, that offer a worded “hello” or an emoji, that it becomes weird and awkward speaking, let alone seeing them in person.
My mind feels starved of stimulus, instead taking on board garbage from the television or radio, until my sanity snaps and I reach for yet another book.
Dark nights draw in early, weather’s still cold, and a warm duvet is often a welcome respite from the monotony of the day.
I miss laughter, the sound of pointless banter. I miss being sociable and getting together with like minded folk to discuss things of interest.
I miss hugs and I miss kisses.
Living alone, even with creature comforts of life, is lonely, ever so lonely.
So I ask again, what is it to live these days?
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
For those that follow me here on WP know that I love rock and heavy metal, and that I had a full beard with long hair. You will also know that I decided to raise money for Mcmillan Nurses in memory of my late mother who sadly passed away last year.
Well here you go folks, the new less hairier look:
When your fears turns to tears, and dreams crumble into decaying debris.
When salvation becomes the barrel of a loaded gun and you drink your poison to numb the pain.
When every fibre of you soul is manipulated like a marionette’s strings, pushed and pulled beyond you will.
When a heart doesn’t break, but it cracks and shatters into millions of pieces lifting into the night sky to join the stars.
When the words have been spoken and all feelings gone.
That is when it’s the end.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
‘Understanding’
To my left stands an Angel tending to my tears. “What did you do?” she asks soothingly.
On my right a Devil. “It’s not your fault!” he says rubbing my shoulder with his talloned hand.
Like an island isolated by a maddening sea, I stand resolute understanding their words, yet let them fall upon my ear, waves upon a rocky shore.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
This me. A hairy tattooed lover of heavy metal.
This time last year my mother passed away after a brief battle with cancer. In her honour, and to raise money for the Mcmillan Nurses who eased her pains during her stay in hospital, I have decided to undertake the Brave the Shave 2019.
The long hair and beard will all go, and be donated to a charity that makes wigs for cancer survivors.
My hair loss will be temporary. The loss of my mother permanent. If you can, and only if you can, spare a little loose change to make a donation, it is all going to such a deserving cause.
https://bravetheshave.macmillan.org.uk/shavers/chris-brown2
Thank you for just reading.
A frozen land
Cold and untamed
Beyond the reaches
Forgotten by man
Home to a Queen
With chilled heart
Turned barren by denial
Of a would be King
Sailed towards the sun
Abandoning love
Frozen in time
Unrequited and alone
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
I wake each morning
Searching for her light
But my eyes witness only darkness
As the dream of her begins to fade.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Upon your leaving,
A distinctive shape of you,
Remained gaping as you left my heart.
Time heals
Makes you forget
Then a passing figure
A glimmer of remembrance
Eyes that pulled me in
Distance parts you
Out of sight out of mind
But I remembered you
A twinge in my rebuilt heart
You walk away
Leaving me a ghost to my emotions
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
I feel the hurt portrayed in your eyes
The spiralling descent into nothingness
An abyss of depression
The fight lost
Over as exhaustion consumes you
The rut you were once in widens
Looking up from a chasm of constant similarity
Everything’s the same
The wheel of time turning
Fragments of yourself trodden underfoot
There is no anger to consume you
The fires of emotion extinguished long ago
An empty shell
Meandering along
Trapped like a slave to a life confined
Copyright: authorchrisbrown