I am done
Exhausted
With my last remaining strength
I’m pulling up the anchor
Drifting the endless sea
Abandoning hope
Gifting my tears to the salty abyss
Abandoning your name to the silence of night.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Tag Archives: lonliness
Just a Question
What is it to live these days?
I spend most of my time locked up doing the things that pays for the box I’m locked in.
And to make box more aesthetically pleasing, costs more money, and so spend more time working to afford the things I have no time to admire.
The friends I’ve made have become nothing more than recognisable text on a screen, that offer a worded “hello” or an emoji, that it becomes weird and awkward speaking, let alone seeing them in person.
My mind feels starved of stimulus, instead taking on board garbage from the television or radio, until my sanity snaps and I reach for yet another book.
Dark nights draw in early, weather’s still cold, and a warm duvet is often a welcome respite from the monotony of the day.
I miss laughter, the sound of pointless banter. I miss being sociable and getting together with like minded folk to discuss things of interest.
I miss hugs and I miss kisses.
Living alone, even with creature comforts of life, is lonely, ever so lonely.
So I ask again, what is it to live these days?
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
When
When your fears turns to tears, and dreams crumble into decaying debris.
When salvation becomes the barrel of a loaded gun and you drink your poison to numb the pain.
When every fibre of you soul is manipulated like a marionette’s strings, pushed and pulled beyond you will.
When a heart doesn’t break, but it cracks and shatters into millions of pieces lifting into the night sky to join the stars.
When the words have been spoken and all feelings gone.
That is when it’s the end.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Finding Reason
‘Understanding’
To my left stands an Angel tending to my tears. “What did you do?” she asks soothingly.
On my right a Devil. “It’s not your fault!” he says rubbing my shoulder with his talloned hand.
Like an island isolated by a maddening sea, I stand resolute understanding their words, yet let them fall upon my ear, waves upon a rocky shore.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Ice Queen
A frozen land
Cold and untamed
Beyond the reaches
Forgotten by man
Home to a Queen
With chilled heart
Turned barren by denial
Of a would be King
Sailed towards the sun
Abandoning love
Frozen in time
Unrequited and alone
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Dream of her
I wake each morning
Searching for her light
But my eyes witness only darkness
As the dream of her begins to fade.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Remembered
Upon your leaving,
A distinctive shape of you,
Remained gaping as you left my heart.
Time heals
Makes you forget
Then a passing figure
A glimmer of remembrance
Eyes that pulled me in
Distance parts you
Out of sight out of mind
But I remembered you
A twinge in my rebuilt heart
You walk away
Leaving me a ghost to my emotions
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Memories
He watched the rain,
Decending softly from heaven,
As his thoughts turned,
To the soft tracing of tears,
As they fell from her sorrow filled eyes.
He listened to the sound of Nature’s breath,
Softly whimpering through the tree branches,
Reminiscent of her sobbing cries,
Wrapped loosely in his arms.
So many triggers within his everyday life,
Pulling on the emotional coils of his soul,
Taking his thoughts forever back to that day,
The day he said ‘Goodbye’.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Void
A black abyss of eternal despair,
The void where once a heart beat strong,
Your unloving like a cancer,
Etched away to leave it soul-less,
Dark and empty,
Just like your many promises.
I now reject you,
Abandon you to your own demise.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
Broken
I’ve cried too many tears,
During too many sleepless nights,
Because of thoughts of you,
That I fear I’ve already died,
From a broken heart.
Copyright: authorchrisbrown
