Cancer….Fuck You

So some of you may have noticed I’ve been a little sketchy and absent from here for a while. That’s because life has a way of kicking you in the ball sack when you think you may have turned a corner.

Last Saturday, the day before Mother’s day and a handful of days after her 61st birthday, my mother lost her long fight against cancer. She past away in hospital, where the medical staff did everything they could in easing her pain and making her comfortable.

So yes, I’ve been absent, but I’m sure you’ll agree it’s been with good reason. There is no need for condolences, or prayers, because I know you will feel compelled to write something. All I ask is that you go and get regular checks so that your family aren’t one day left grieving as mine are.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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To burst a heart

A silver lining to a future unseen,

Emotions crumble like ancient walls,

Dreams that forever remain unfulfilled,

A happy ever after that ends premature,

Visions etched too deep to simply wipe away,

All of these things,

Then with the realisation to a reality so sharp,

It bursts a loving heart.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown 

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Memories

He watched the rain,

Decending softly from heaven,

As his thoughts turned,

To the soft tracing of tears,

As they fell from her sorrow filled eyes.

He listened to the sound of Nature’s breath,

Softly whimpering through the tree branches,

Reminiscent of her sobbing cries,

Wrapped loosely in his arms.

So many triggers within his everyday life,

Pulling on the emotional coils of his soul,

Taking his thoughts forever back to that day,

The day he said ‘Goodbye’.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown 

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Poison Heart

Your words cut deeper,

Than any backstabbing blade.

Lies so deeply rooted,

Belief in which you sincerely hold.

So I cast you aside.

Your poison heart like cancer,

Already eating me away.

And so this poets natutal instinct,

Is to portray his soul,

Within words on virgin paper.

And walking lonely walkways,

Trying to forget the pain of yesterday.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown 

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I fell for a nightmare

Seduced by your charm
Taken in by a smile
Your reassurances sincere
As my defences are put down

Always the woman of seduction
Amongst the company of others
Friends tell me I’m lucky
To have found the perfect one

But behind closed doors
Your more witch than seductress
I suffer in silence the anger
You vent to the one you love

I have covered up the bruises
Wiped away all the tears that I’ve shed
Too scared to run from this nightmare
Haven fallen for a woman I no longer know

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Walking

I walk this path,

Allowing my eyes to feast,

Upon the cornucopia of wonders,

Consuming to forget my yesterday,

Whilst time slips away,

Holding at bay the arrival of tomorrow.

With every footstep,

The essence of my former self,

Evaporates into oblivion, 

As fledgling optimism seeks to take flight,

Before the reason to walk,

Consumes my very being once more.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown 

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Old

Wind and rain,
Not a vision but a sound,
The former howling,
Finding a gap in the patially rotted window frame,
The rain tapping relentless on the window,
Outside is dark,
Shown in part by the broken pole,
Curtains misaligned,
No longer hiding the night,
Wood for the fire long gone,
Dying embers a subdued orange against the eternal darkness,
There is no longer heat,
Wrapped in a hole filled aged blanket,
My body uncontrollably shivers,
Too cold to sleep,
Yet I ponder if I’ll see the morrow arrive.
If I actually want to.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown

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Jar of Tears

By the side of my bed,

Resides a jar of liquid silver,

Millions of solitary tears,

One from each time I’ve cried,

Cried because of you.

I promised myself I would stop,

When the tears ran dry,

Or the jar had no room left,

Then I’d send those tears free,

Cast away upon ocean’s tide.

Beside my bed resides a jar of tears,

And I convince myself,

When the tears they fall again,

That there is just enough room,

For one more tear.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown 

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