Word / Genre Challenge #3

Word: Flip Flops

Genre: Dark Comedy

They were always within easy reach of my mother’s hand. No matter where she was, even though she wouldn’t be wearing them, they were always reachable.

I’m talking about those battered, once favourite, rubber and plastic foot attire. The ones where the toe separator has popped out, and though you push it back through the hole in the sole, it still pops right back out.

Not that you’d want to touch the sole, as it still has the indented remnants of your mother’s feet permanently ingrained upon them.

For years they tortured your hearing, the *thwack-thwack* as they slapped against the underside of her feet as she walked, then they filled you with fear if you so much as said a wrong word or misbehaved.

For something so light weight an un aerodynamic, they could be hurled with amazing accuracy to bounce off the back of your head when you weren’t looking, and heaven forbid you were close enough to be caught.

No amount of padding could numb the pain of those slabs of rubber being brought down with force upon young spungey naked ass cheeks.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown


Last Day 18+ NSFW

6:00 am The regular morning alarm sounded under his right ear, the location of his phone under his pillow as usual. He looked at his wife still asleep next to him and juggled the decision of waking her by sucking upon her breasts, or going down on her. He opted for the latter.

6:10 am She was sat riding his cock after being given the most amazing wake up orgasm with his tongue, determined now to make him fill her with his hot cum.

6:30 am She lay thoroughly satisfied upon the bed, sleep threatening to consume her as he had. He smiled and headed to the bathroom to prepare for work.

7:00 am Grabbing his coat and keys, he leaves the house, silently so as not to wake her. Getting into his car, he turns up the music and sets off for work.

7:25 am He finds himself in the usual nose to tail gridlock of snail paced traffic, looking forward to the next hour of nudging slowly towards the day ahead.

8:42 am Arriving at work, the usual eye roll of contemplation is replaced with a warm smile. He’s greeted by Alice the company secretary in her usual cheerful manner. He reaches out for her to take his hand, to which she curiously obliges.

8:45 am Alice is bent over within a bathroom cubicle, pants around her ankles as he eats her pussy from behind. She was young and fresh, completely shaven and sweet upon his lips. Moments later he was deep inside her, grabbing at her tiny perky breasts. He wasn’t sure if it was the best sex she’d had, but she sure as hell made encouraging noises to suggest it was.

9:37 am He left Alice to straighten up, making his way to his to his desk and the pile of paperwork waiting for him. In a moment of what could be called complete insanity, he threw the entire pile up in the air and watched smiling as it all came cascading down around him.

9:40 am He leaves the office for the final time and gets back into his car. Turning the music up to max, he just drove.

**Meanwhile, at the same time, a scream erupts from a familiar bathroom as a wife discovers her husband has taken with him all of their toilet roll**

Copyright: authorchrisbrown


Alternative Fairytale

Once upon a time, in a parallel universe, the princess was a bit of a minger and knights were geeky and weak.

Oh yeah, and dragons kicked ass and chewed regularly upon ill advised knights as well as the odd minger.

Happily ever after? Sure, if you were built like a proverbial shit house, could fly and breath fire!

The End.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown



The vulture that was work did not notice his downward spiral and inward screams of pain, instead carried picking away at what was left of his battered and bruised carcass. “One day,” he thought as the last remnants of his sanity evaporated to nothing. “I’ll look back and ask myself ‘was it worth it?'”

Today can be summed as: Standing precariously upon an old wooden chair, the hangman’s noose around my neck. The sun shines and a gentle breeze kisses gently my face, though my mind is too focused to appreciate it. Any minute now an unseen foot is going to kick away the chair, and as I swing within the last throws of life I’ll think, “What a lovely day!”

Copyright: authorchrisbrown


Dick Pics

So there I was talking to a lovely lady online, and things were going amazingly. Out of the blue she asked if I’d send her a couple of dick pics. Well ok I thought, bit weird, but whatever.

I sent three: Whittington, Turpin and Van Dyke, thinking those were probably the most well known.

Not sure that it impressed her much though, as I’ve yet to hear back from her.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown



As he walked up behind her, his eyes travelled the long expanse that were her legs, mentally undressing her in his mind.

When she turned to greet him, all his dreams appeared to come true as she presented him with breasts he’d have happily suffocate himself between.

Sadly, her personality was a dull as a narcoleptic with sleeping pills. Alcohol was going to be needed, and lots of it.

Copyright: authorchrisbrown


Unlucky in Love

They say love can hit you at any moment, and that is exactly what happened to Lisa. He was tall, dark and mysterious, with a few rough edges that made him look all man. The only trouble was, he was dead! He had come out of nowhere and ended up sprawled across the windscreen of Lisa’s brand new car, which probably accounted for most of the rough edges….

Copyright: authorchrisbrown


Writing Challenge #10

So this will be the last challenge for a little while, and has a slight change to the other nine. Write a story using the key word: toilet roll, but with an indifference mood.

‘How is it not lunchtime yet’ he thought idly moving his mouse back and forth. ‘It feels like I’ve been here hours already.’

When the mouse no longer curtailed his apathy, he began spinning around slowly on his swivel chair.

“You best be careful Julian, the head boss is in today. Tom saw his Jaguar in the car park. ”

“Tell someone who gives a shit Steve.”

“I’m just say….”

“Blah blah blah!” Julian stood up and retired to the WCs. ‘That was a sure fire way of killing half an hour or so,’ he thought.

Twenty minutes later and he’s reaching for the empty toilet roll holder. Without saying a cursory word, he removes his tie and uses it to clean himself as best he could, before then smearing the contents across any surface on route out of the toilets and towards the supply cupboard.

Then, armed with an armful of toilet rolls, Julian quite calmly made his way back into the open office. One by one he threw them in random directions so as to unravel and blanket across much of the office.

Without saying anything he headed towards the exit, and as if by perfect timing, the head boss and company owner was walking in. The boss looked around in disbelief at the toilet roll littered office, and then at Julian who was wrapping a soiled scarf around his neck.

“You’re fired!” he screamed as the stench hit his nose.

“I’d like to say I don’t give a shit, but I just have.”

Copyright: authorchrisbrown